HISTORY OF WADENER UNIVERSITY

  Wadener University was established in 1988 in memory of the great Patrick Crise Wadener. Pat, as he was known by his friends, was one of the biggest slackers in recorded history. Pat was famous for his long weekends. He would call in to work every Friday saying he was sick, when in fact he wasn't sick but was just making it up because he didn't feel like working. Therefore he would have a long weekend. It wouldn't be a long weekend because he actually did anything but because he had had three days off in a row.

  It was believed Pat's teachings would be a valuable asset to the world so in his honor a school for teaching people how to be more like Pat Wadener was created. This college, Wadener University, would be dedicated to creating more Pat Wadeners. This school would stress slacking, lying, goofing, cheating, and everything Pat himself did to get by life without ever really having to raise a finger. Wadener University graduates aren't just bums, but bums who know how to get away with being bums yet not appearing like bums. Wadener University introduces a whole new way of learning. At Wadener University you are not prepared to work in the real world but you are prepared how to avoid work in the real world.

  Wadener University, a school with no conscience.